Carrboro, N.C. - The Speakeasy Spirits booked their ticket to the Carrboro Adult Co-Rec Softball Championship on Tuesday, winning 8 - 6 against the Fightin’ Squids by playing lights-out softball. It was a tight game throughout, with an unexpected ending that sparked outrage from the Squids' dugout and jubilation for the Spirits. 

A player down, the Spirits had an automatic out near the end of the lineup after outfielder Johnny Mazurek batted. “I knew I had to clear the bases,” said Mazurek when asked about his three-run homer in the fourth inning. “It was our chance to get on the board.” The home run gave the Spirits a 3 - 2 lead, and the automatic out that followed ended the top of the inning.

Veteran shortstop Carolyn Egan shone with stellar offense and defense. Egan scored a run, had two RBI’s, and made a leaping grab that came close to violating the trademark rights of the Jordan Brand. 

“I’m not looking for trouble,” said Egan after the game. “I want to be clear that I had no intention of making such a dope play. Greatness needs to recognize greatness. There’s no need to make this another legal thing.” 

Representatives of the Jordan Brand refused to comment on the matter, noting ongoing investigations are handled privately, while menacingly cracking their knuckles.   

Trailing by four runs, the Squids rallied in the bottom of the seventh inning, scoring two runs before the game abruptly ended. With a runner on second, a fly ball to center turned into a double play when the baserunner was called out for leaving the bag before the ball was caught.  

“Caught ‘em creepin’,” said Spirits Manager Drew Stuck as he started humming ‘Creep’ by TLC. “Just keep it on the down low, said nobody is supposed to know. So, I creep, yeah.”

The Greensboro St. rivalry will be on full display this coming Tuesday, June 24, as the Spirits face the Street Walkin’ Cheetahs, who made it to the championship with a victory over Squids in Tuesday's late game, a double header for Squids. 

Tuesday’s championship could also be a double header, as the Spirits have no losses in the double-elimination tournament. The Cheetahs must win the 7:00 pm game on Tuesday to force a second game at 8:20 pm.  

The spirited Spirits are not discouraged by the weather forecast calling for 100+ degree temperatures on Tuesday. 

“I ain’t in this for my health,” noted veteran Spirit Adam Stffler. “I play for the Spirits because it gives me an excuse to be a kid for a few hours every week. I don’t think about work, my mortgage, or ulnar collateral ligament injuries. That stuff will be there long after we finish our celebratory - and reasonably priced - drinks at the Speakeasy, where everyone is treated like a champion.”